We all tend to use labels when it comes to our relationships in life. She’s my best friend or he’s my brother, my uncle, she’s my co-worker and he’s my boyfriend. There are people out there however that don’t feel the need to use labels like these and come up with different terms. I think so long as both parties are aware of the rules and what they want to call each other it really doesn’t mater. By definition, people that are dating exclusively and that go on vacations together and attend important events with each other; they are probably in a relationship. But if they don’t want to call it that, who are we to judge?
The two are dating exclusively, go on vacations together and attend important occasions with one another. Still, both cling to the notion that they are not, and do not want to be, in a relationship.
Welcome to the non-relationship relationship — the faux relationship. Can a relationship that begins with a faux foundation blossom into something genuine? Or, like many a string of faux pearls, will it remain pretty to look at, but artificial to the core?
Does it really matter what we call a relationship (monogamous, friends with benefits, open relationships, etc.)? Perhaps it’s more important “to understand that relationships are what the two people in them make them to be,” says relationship expert Brenda Della Casa, author of “Cinderella Was a Liar”
“It can be hard for more traditional types to accept that two people can be in a relationship that has a different set of rules, but if it works for the two people in it, that’s what is most important,” she says. Difficulty arises in the faux relationship just as with any other relationship, when the rules change.
Still, Della Casa explains that, “as long as they are open, honest and respectful of one another and themselves, these situations can work fine — for a short period of time.”
Honesty may be the best policy when it comes to relationships, but what happens when the policy is modified?
“Feelings change” moment to moment, says Beverly Hills celebrity author and psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish. “A faux relationship can begin on clear and mutually acceptable terms but, as time progresses, one partner may find his or her feelings deepening or vice versa.”
Another fissure in the faux relationship formula occurs when an individual (knowingly or unknowingly) masks his or her true desire for a real relationship. Basically, an individual conveys to his partner that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, but inwardly truly does. Perhaps he has been hurt before, and therefore, believes that a faux relationship will protect him from harm.
Do you think that labels matter when it comes to relationships? Share your thoughts with us by commenting below.