Fake It ‘Til You Make It

It’s Friday night. You walk into the party thinking you’re going to have such a great time and a guy of your dreams might just be on the other side of the door. You’ve just had your hair done and you’ve lost those nagging 5 pounds.  You fit into your skinny jeans and you’re feeling oh, so fabulous.

And then across the room you see her… a truly gorgeous woman with men 2 layers deep surrounding her. Gone in less than 5 seconds is all the confidence and sassiness you walked in the door with. Like a balloon deflating – you feel your vitality and sexiness leaving you. Your brain starts the scream: ‘OMG, she is sooo beautiful and confident – I could never compete. None of the guys will look twice at me when she is in the room!’

Hey, you’re not alone.
We’ve all had many moments like this.  These insecurities come up for every woman in the world.  There is no perfect, always confident, always stunning woman anywhere but… we can fake it till we make it!

But here’s the secret. No one knows how you are feeling on the inside. Frankly, I think most of the time people don’t want to know. They have their own doubts and insecurities and little gremlins sitting on their own shoulders telling them the litany of their own inadequacies.

But people quickly pick up on energy. They will feel your insecurities immediately if you allow them to show.  You will stand differently, you will speak differently – all of this is going to potentially push people away and make you continue to feel miserable. And the other woman in the room will have had nothing to do with that.

My advice: adopt a ‘take no prisoners’ attitude.  Nip to the washroom, stand up straight, take a deep breath, give yourself a mental shake, pinch your cheeks (don’t laugh- you know it works!)  and come back out into that party like you own the place.  Make eye contact with people, join in their laughter and connect with people.  Include others in your conversations that are standing more off on the sidelines with their own insecurities. People are always attracted to an upbeat energy. You felt amazing before you walked into the party so bring that feeling back.

Be playful and flirtatious.  Guys love a woman with confidence and that can hold their own in a crowd. There is no reason that someone else that you’ve never met should affect your mood so strongly.  You don’t have to compete – really, there is no shortage of great guys in the world.

Strut your stuff. Stand tall on your goddess shoes no matter how high they are!

Soon you will realize that the beautiful woman you first saw when you came in is no different than you.  She was probably faking it too – she might have just started a bit before you!