How To Put The Fun Back Into Dating!

Are You Committing First Date No-Nos?

Sometimes going on first dates can be nerve-racking. You worry about what you’re going to say, what you’re going to do, and what kind of time you’re going to have. But when you go on a first date, you shouldn’t be worried about ANYTHING! This is your time to get to know someone and have a some fun while you’re at it!

But don’t go too wild. Dating expert and the queen of flirting, Lauren Frances, has a few first date dos and don’ts that will ensure a fun time and possibly a second date.

1. Stay Sharp At All Times
Lauren’s dating rule is to, “ always be sharp enough to do romantic research”. That means, one from the bar is more than enough to drink. I know sometimes we get a little nervous and liquid courage seems to do the trick, but you want to have a clear mind to assess your date and be able to weed out the good guys from the others.

2. Leave The Ex’s Out
There is nothing quicker to turn anyone off than to bring up an ex. Lauren says, you shouldn’t trash your ex’s on the date (which you shouldn’t), but I would just leave them out altogether. This date is about potentially starting a new relationship, not to find closure on the past one. If you’re talking trash or constantly chit-chatting about your ex, maybe you’re not ready to get back out in the game just yet.

3. Speak Highly Of Yourself
No, this is not a job interview, but you don’t want to sell yourself short to your date. Lauren says, confidence is sexy, so when you breathe that confidence in you and let it shine out to your date, the attraction will be undeniable. Talking about the things you don’t like about yourself only puts a dark mood on the date ,and will probably make your date question why he’s out with you. Only say good things!

4. Let Him Chase You
If there is one game both men and women like to play, it’s cat and mouse. Men love the chase and women like not to get caught. Lauren says, to not deprive your date that thrill. I know sometimes we get a little eager, and as go-getters we go for what we want, but there’s a right way and a wrong way. Lauren suggests a little harmless flirting is a great way to get the game started, after that it’s up to him to pursue.

5. Always Look Like You’re Enjoying Yourself
Unfortunately, not all dates are winners. Sometimes you meet a guy you find out is terrible for you, and the date was one of the worst times you’ve ever had, but that doesn’t mean he has to know that. As a lady, you don’t want to hurt the gentleman’s feelings or seem like a snob. Lauren says, if the date is utterly sour, shake his hand, thank him for the time, and quickly leave. There’s no need to be rude, some dates are busts. Time to move on to the next!

6. Keep A Positive Outlook On Dating
We get a little wary of dating when we’ve gone on fifty billion bad dates, but that doesn’t mean your positive attitude has to suffer. Just think about it as one more step closer to a great date. Lauren says, no man wants to pursue a woman who has a bad attitude about dating. She also suggests to be “a romantic challenge, not a mental health challenge”. A positive attitude on life and dating shows you’re a positive person, and that’s something men want to have in their lives.

As I said before, a first date shouldn’t be big deal. You want to walk into it with an open mind and open to a great time with someone new. If you follow these tips with all of your first dates and dates after, love won’t be too far off in the future.

“8 Romantic Rules for a Fabulous First Date!” Lauren Frances, Lauren Frances. com. Accessed January 30, 2014. http ://www.laurenfrances. com/articles_8_romantic_rules.php

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A Negative Body Image and Dating Do Not Mesh Well

I know exactly how you feel.

I used to look in the mirror and feel disgusted.  I hated my body, my hair, my boobs, my nose, and anything else that showed its face.  It was a vicious cycle of negativity, and the longer I allowed it, the stronger it became.

We’re women, and we’re bombarded with images on TV and in magazines, and by our friends who are trying to compete as well.

It’s completely normal to want to feel gorgeous and worthy.  But the truth is you already are!

How does this affect dating?

If you’re feeling unworthy, ugly, and/or fat, you’re sending off some negative vibes to everyone around you, including your date.  When you’re “telling” the world that you hate something about yourself, the world will receive your message whether you realize it or not.

If you’re uncomfortable with your body, it won’t be long until your date is uncomfortable in general.  If you’re nervous about your date thinking you’re not pretty enough, you date will start to become nervous too.

Dates can already be nerve wracking.  We’re out with someone we barely know, wanting to get to know them, hoping they’re not crazy, and wondering if they’ll turn out to be “the one.”

It’s time to turn that negative body image around so that you can focus on the important stuff, like: does he want children, does he have a job, or will he accept the fact that I’m terrified of the ocean?

Here are 3 things that you must start doing today to build up your body image:

1. Give yourself compliments.
I know it may sound silly at first if you haven’t been doing it, but it’s a must.  I always tell myself, no one else is guaranteed to give me a compliment today, so I must give myself one. Compliments will help you slowly build your self confidence up, and that’s something that you absolutely deserve on a date.

2. Ask yourself what would make you feel gorgeous.
A few years ago, I gained 50 pounds.  I also immediately started to hate myself.  I refused to buy new clothes because I didn’t want to accept that I had gained weight.  I didn’t feel worthy enough to wear beautiful clothes, or makeup, or get my hair done. It was a disaster.

You deserve to feel gorgeous, no matter what size or shape you are.  Maybe a new outfit will uplift you.  Or a new hairstyle.  Or some makeup.  Try different things out and get clear on what helps you feel gorgeous.  Your date will certainly feel the energy!

3. Give others compliments.
What you put out into the world, you will receive in return.  Give your best friend a compliment, as well as the stranger at the grocery store.  When you see your date, give him a compliment as well.  It will lighten the mood and you’ll begin the date on a positive note.  Hopefully, he returns the favor.

These are 3 things that you can start doing today to move towards a healthier, happier body image.  Start within and spread the love all around you.  I believe in you and it’s time to start believing in yourself too!

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Valentine’s Day for all the Single Ladies

It’s that time of year again when store displays are brimming with love hearts, teddy bears, and flowers, and the celebration of love seems to be present at every turn. As you flip through the channels you notice an abundant amount of romantic comedies playing over and over again, reminding you how Valentine’s Day is supposed to be spent. You’re all for the idea of everlasting love and celebrating with your partner, the only hiccup is that this year you don’t have a partner.

Flying solo this Valentine’s day? Turns out that being single on Valentine’s Day can actually be a good thing! In life almost everything comes down to perspective and your reactions, so avoid the Valentine’s Day blues this year by engaging in activities that will make you appreciate single life.

The love and sex experts at SheKnows. com provide you with ten tips that will make your Valentine’s Day the most enjoyable and fabulous yet!

1. Make plans with your girlfriends. Charlotte from Sex and the City made an excellent point when she said that maybe friends are your soulmates, and men are just great nice guys to have fun with. The truth is not every man you date will be your happily ever after but real friends can last a lifetime. So this Valentine’s Day why not plan a date with your single friends and relish in the pleasure of being surrounded by your best friends. Host a girls night at your house or why not go out for a few cocktails. There’s nothing that will help you to enjoy Valentine’s Day more than laughing it up with your girlfriends and having a good time!

2. Plan a spa day.  Appreciate being single on this day by treating yourself to a spa day. Whilst all the couples out there are packed inside busy restaurants, you will be indulging in a little me time. Go ahead and pamper yourself, you deserve it! Love starts with you so why not make yourself feel amazing on a day devoted to love? Enjoy!

3. Retail therapy. Retail therapy has the ability to give every gal a little pick me up. So if you’re feeling a little down about being single, hit up some shops! Instead of spending money buying a partner a sweet gift, use that money to buy yourself something nice. This holiday is supposed to be about celebrating love but who’s to say that it has to be the love that is shared between two people? Remind yourself how lucky you are and how much you love yourself by treating yourself to something special.

4. Exercise. Going to the gym will not only release endorphins, naturally making you feel happier, but there will probably be a lot of other singles there too! Take a fun class or go for a run and then ask a hottie to show you how to use a certain piece of equipment. Valentine’s Day is a great day to meet people, as it could make others be on the lookout for significant other more than usually.

5. Call up your best guy friend.  If you really feel like indulging in a little Valentine’s day festivity still why not call up you best guy friend? There is definitely nothing wrong with going on a fun night out with a buddy and having a few drinks and sharing a couple of laughs. As long as its platonic and you’re both single then go for it! It’ll be a fun night out with a great guy, followed by sprawling out on your bed, and enjoying all the comfy bed space without having to share it with anyone! Ever slept with someone who hogs the bed? Then I am sure you can appreciate this.

6. Be grateful. Viewing the world through the lens of gratitude has the ability to immediately transform our mood and how we relate with the world around us. So you might not have a man this year, try looking at all of the things you have to be grateful for instead:friends, family, your job, freedom, health, etc. It is much better to be happy alone than unhappy with someone else so be grateful that you’re not in a bad relationship. There is so much for you to be happy about, so take the time on this day to show your appreciation to the things in your life that truly make it fulfilling.

7. Take advantage of the chocolate sales. Speaking of looking on the bright side, chocolate is everywhere and on sale, so take advantage and indulge a little. Give yourself a hall pass and eat as much as you want without feeling guilty today. Life is all about balance and who says you need a partner to take advantage of all the chocolate that is on sale.

8. Read something inspiring. Stay in and curl up with a great book. Sometimes all it takes to feel better is to read something inspiring. Books such as Eat, Pray, Love  have the power to shift one’s perspective about love and dating. The truth is sometimes it is better to be single for longer and wait for the right one to come along then jump into an unfulfilling relationship out of sheer loneliness. If you’re questioning your singledom at this time, try to refocus your mind to thoughts of the positive by reading something inspirational.

9. Throw a party for all your single friends. It is often said the best way to meet someone is through a mutual friend so have a party! Invite all of your single friends and get everyone to bring a plus one who is also single. You will no doubt have a great time and perhaps even meet someone. Either way throwing a party is a fun way to spend Valentine’s Day and appreciate that there are lots of single people out there and loving it!

10. Hang out with your family. One of the best places to receive unconditional love is from your family. As mentioned before, no one can dictate what kind of love you’re supposed to celebrate on Valentine’s Day so host a dinner party at your place for your family. Your family will serve as a great reminder to you, of how fortunate you are!

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate all sorts of love in relationships from partners, to family, and friendships so don’t lose sight of what is important! Indulge in a little me time and show some appreciation for yourself and your loved ones. By being grateful for what you do have this Valentine’s Day, you will make it the best one yet-single or not!

She Knows. “32 ways to beat the valentine’s day blues.” Accessed January 23rd 2014. “http ://www.sheknows. com/holidays-and-seasons/articles/807292/32-ways-to-beat-the-valentine-s-day-blues

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A Product Review of Trojan’s “Crazy Sexy Feel” Lubricant Line

I’m sure all of you are aware of the condom company, Trojan. Not long ago they introduced a line of vibrating rings and massagers. Now, they have come out with their own line of Trojan Lubricants.

The packaging was fantastic; tasteful. A problem arose in trying to open the first bottle. I’m so the opposite of a Prima Donna but I just had my nails done the day before and I could NOT get the “lift and peel” seal off of the bottle from underneath the lid. It was really frustrating. Ergonomically, I liked the shape of the bottle; It fit into my hand nicely… If only I could get the seal off!  (I ended up using my teeth/mouth to get that damn seal off. The rest of the trial went much better than that little exercise.) The flip top lid was handy for one-handed reapplication and did not show any sign or risk of leaking.The back of the bottle gives some helpful information about compatibility with condoms. This lubricant can be used with natural rubber latex and polyisoprene condoms. Do not use with polyurethane or other condoms.

Pro Tip: It is important to know what material your favorite condoms are made of so you can choose the right/compatible lube! If you choose the wrong kind, it can break down the material of your condom and risk BREAKAGE. Not cool if you’re trying to avoid pregnancy or STIs

Purple bottle  (“Arouses & Intensifies”):  I used a generous portion but as I quickly found out, a little went a long way. I could have gotten by with much less product on that maiden voyage. The feel was very smooth and non-sticky. This particular product had the result of a warming and tingling feeling that worked SO well. The warming and tingling had a very pleasurable feel on my clitoris and labia, such that I almost didn’t need manual stimulation. Even when interrupted by a phone call, the test continued with satisfactory results – requiring only a mute button – to complete the trial (Like I said, I probably could have completed the trial using no hands the sensation was so pleasant).

Orange bottle (“Tingly Warmth”): It was also pleasant, I was not noticing the warming feel so much at first.This sample required quite a bit of product to notice that tingly warmth.  And when it finally happened, call me crazy, but the only burning feeling I like is the burning of desire; my personal preference is not for a burning feeling on my labia. But I will not yuk someone else’s yum – someone else might prefer that over the purple bottle’s cooling effect! Here again though, the product was non-sticky, had a great viscosity, and lasted a long time.

Blue bottle (“Continuous Silkiness”): The contents of the were a little thicker, more gel-like. The product became more liquid with the application to body temperature without feeling sticky. No gimmicks here; Just silky smooth feeling.

If you are one who is particular about wanting only natural (read: pronounceable) product ingredients to put on or in your body, there aren’t many choices on the market yet. Maybe if that’s what you want you can write to Trojan and put in that request. These products do not list any organic ingredients either. So, if that’s a concern of yours, take that into consideration.

Overall I enjoyed each of these products. For the price and relative ease of availability in retail drug stores, I like this product and if pressed to rank them, I personally would say the 1) Purple, 2) Blue, then 3) Orange.

* Repurposed by Teraya Smith, the Associate Editor of How To Put The Fun Back Into Dating.

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About How To Put The Fun Back Into Dating (HTPTFBID)

How To Put the Fun Back Into Dating is an invigorating and enlightening space created for the Goddess within you. We have all struggled to keep up with the ever changing dating norms and expectations. Thus, quite often we find ourselves looking at dating as a daunting and downright frightening task.

That’s where we come in, to transform the way you view dating and inevitably transform your life. We will guide you through all of your questions and doubts, whilst providing you with information that will empower you and give you back that sparkle to attract and keep the man of your dreams.

It is never too late to reclaim your life, and alter your love life to give you the exciting, fun, passionate love life you deserve.

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5 Dating Disasters Women Make On Their First Date
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