There is often a social stigma surrounding women who are serial daters. Playing the field and dating multiple men at once can illicit a negative reaction from people who are looking in from the outside. However, it is important to start doing things the right way for you, despite the critics. Forget about the double standards, and embrace dating multiple men at once as it actually proves to have many benefits that can ultimately lead to finding “the one.”
Giving more than one man the opportunity to get to know you at the same time, has nothing to do with dishonesty and sleeping with all of them. Rather it has everything to do with giving yourself a fair chance to figure out what it is you want in a man. Serial dating, when done right, can open you up to a whole new world of opportunity in the dating pool. It can teach you valuable skills and keep you sane as you focus your attention on more than one man.
It is important to note that going out on dates, and not sleeping with the men, is the key to making this work as it is the best way to avoid STD’s and any potential drama. Author and dating expert David Wygant* provides you with five reasons why serial dating may be the right approach for you.
It puts you outside of your comfort zone. By allowing yourself to date more than one man you have to actively seek new men to date. The whole point is to date men that are different to one another so that you can truly discover who you’re most compatible with. Previously you may have been stuck in a dating rut, always dating what was familiar. It is common for us to fall into patterns when it comes to dating and date men with qualities that we have dealt with in the past.
It is much less risky to date someone that you can predict, but by opening yourself up to new men you will shake up this potentially destructive habit. It may be more time consuming and require more effort to find different types of men to date but it is absolutely worth it! David suggests that “it is only by really going out there and looking for someone who excites you that you will find that amazing relationship.”
The law of attraction. Who you attract to your life is a direct reflection of how you’re feeling about yourself internally. You will never attract an amazing guy if deep down you feel poorly about yourself. Simply put, notice that when you feel like shit, you will indefinitely attract an asshole. David believes that the key to attracting great men is to work on your inside which has a direct correlation to going out and meeting new people. David mentions a specific concept known as “abundance mindset”, that opens up a world of new people coming into your life that you will be very attracted too. The key to developing this mindset and applying it to your life, will only happen when you make an effort to get to know a variety of different people. By letting different types of men the opportunity to get to know you, it will essentially help you to figure what you really want from a man but also who you truly are.
Get rid of your “list” of requirements. Although it is important to know what qualities you want in a man, you should just use it as a guide. Meeting a new man shouldn’t just be about checking the mental list off that you have created. Rather, it is equally as important in determining how you want a guy to make you feel. By dating more than one man at once, you will naturally begin to determine what works for you and what doesn’t without relying too heavily on your list. Some of the relationships you have will flourish and some will rarely make it past the first date. But it is about exploring all your options that will ultimately lead to you finding that one guy that makes you feel exactly how you want.
Be open and honest. The key to successfully dating multiple men without getting hurt or hurting anyone is to always be honest. David stresses though, that unless one of your potential suitors asks you if you’re dating just them, then you don’t need to tell them that you’re dating others too. There is nothing wrong with dating multiple men if you are honest with yourself and give every man an equal opportunity by being open and present when you’re in their company. Eventually, one man in particular will stand out to you and when you decide to be exclusive, well then you can tell others that you’re no longer interested in pursuing anything else.
Empowers you with choice. David believes that the number one reason to date multiple men at once is that it puts you in control of finding the right man for you. By dating multiple men, you have the power of choice which will prevent you from settling. By actively meeting new people and interacting with them you realize that you do have options and that will keep you from stopping at the first guy you meet. Choice allows you to explore who the right guy is for you and that is ultimately the most important part of serial dating.
Embrace the opportunity to meet new people and allow yourself to get to know more than one man guilt free! You are not doing anything wrong by seeing multiple men as you are providing yourself with the greatest chance to meet the right guy. What is so wrong with that? By approaching serial dating in a classy and honest manner you will reap the benefits and find that Mr. Right without having to settle for Mr. Right Now. So go ahead and line up those date nights, you won’t regret it!
* “Five Reasons To Date Multiple Men At Once” David Wygant. accessed Nov 6, 2013. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-wygant/dating-advice_b_2489775. html