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The Fear Factor: How to Prepare Yourself and Kids for Dating

Your teenage daughter has been spending tons of time on her phone, talking to someone you and have no idea who it is.

Shortly afterwards, say a week or so later, she says she has a date. And you start to panic, questions loom over, how are you feeling about this?

Are you ready for this chapter of your life?

Isn’t it too soon?

Except, with these questions, you are asking yourself and not asking her! Granted, watching your teen start that dating phase in their lives can be such an emotional roller coaster.

It is more of you, the parent, panicking over so many things about dating than your teen him/ herself.

Nothing can ever stop some things in nature from taking place, but the advantage is, you can prepare, psychologically and mentally, when your little baby feels all grown up and they want to experience different phases of life and they start liking other people romantically.

Here are a few ways to prepare yourself and the kids for dating.

Communicate 

One way to ease the transition from childhood to teenage-hood and later on dating, yes….sounds a little cliché but it’s the only way, is to communicate.

Parents who have great relationships with their kids did not just come overnight, it came as a result of a lot of work on the communication bit.

If you have a daughter, you could for instance, start talking to her about changes she will see in her body.

You can talk about menstruation, wearing of bras, hairs growing here and there. If you have a boy, take interest in what he likes when you talk about, try to talk to him about his growth spurt and what he will be experiencing.

This is supposed to remove the awkwardness that comes with such topics and your kid will feel a little freer with you.

Everyone wants to have a cool parent who they feel they can talk to about almost anything!

Try to be social with their new love interest 

When you see that your kid is starting to take romantic interest in someone, you could ask them if they’d like to invite your friend over.

This is a great ice breaker, because you get to see who your child is spending so much time talking to and also, once your teen sees that you have acknowledged their new love interest’s existence, they will feel more at ease to talk to you about them every so often.

The birds and the bees……and the disease.

It also goes without saying that once your teen starts dating it is a good thing to have the birds and the bees talk.

Not everyone likes this one, I’m not sure anyone likes this at all, but safety is important and it is good that you teach your teen the importance of safety.

They may not feel comfortable at first, but they will later on realize that you, their parent, are looking out for their safety, their health and their future.

This is one of the most important ways on how to prepare yourself and the kids for dating.

Chaperoned Dates

Another way to introduce yourself and your teen into dating is by having chaperoned dates.

This is however, highly dependent on how old your kid is. If s/he is 17, chaperoning may not be essential, but if they are still young, about 14 or 15, then you can take this into consideration.

This sounds a bit off, but it’s a great way to keep an eye on your teen. Granted, they will feel like you don’t trust them, that you are intruding in their privacy, but explain to them that you are taking a step at a time, and that afterwards, they can be able to go on dates on their own.

You will also have time to get comfortable with the idea of your teen dating and consequently trusting them enough to be on their own.

Social Media

Another extremely effective way on how to prepare yourself and the kids for dating, especially in this time and age, is to use social media.

You can use the likes of FacebookTwitter, and YouTube to show them good and bad examples of relationships.

Kids attach a lot of learning to social media and TV, so these can be good teaching tools if used correctly. On the flip side, they can aid you as the parent to learn modern ways of dating.

Granted, the what hasn’t changed from your time, but the how certainly has. It would be a great bonus to learn how to walk your child and yourself through modern dating.

Lastly but not least, let them know that their school grades still matter. They should also put as much effort on their school work as they usually have and not to get too distracted with their relationship.

What can you tell us?

Share your experience.

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He Loves You… But Loves His Stomach More

They say that men love good food. Their relationship with food is so deep and unexplainable that it drives women crazy in the kitchen. Since the days where men would hunt for meat to give to their female friend to cook, women have known that food is very important to them.

Dare I say, even more important than blowjobs at times?

The famous quote “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is one that women know all too well. Yet, a man’s love affair with food causes us to ask ourselves questions like: How can they not understand our chocolate cravings when we get our periods?

But unlike our cravings, a few men need someone to cook them what their stomach craves. So what should we be making if we want to reward them for good behavior?

I’ve whipped up 5 ways you can move the heat from the kitchen to the bedroom…or the kitchen counter!

Create an aphrodisiac meal together. Cooking together in the kitchen might be something you do everyday,  however try setting up somewhere exotic and make a meal to boost your libidos.

Mini tasting à deux. Arrange for each party to buy bite-sized food which will appeal to everyone consisting of an entrée, main and dessert. Then begin a rating game where you rate and review each other’s choice and let them know which tasting turns you on.

Get dirty. Try making a white cheesecake or a regular vanilla cake with lots of frosting and feed it to each other (minus the forks). Yummy in my tummy! Get gooey together and don’t forget to clean each other up afterwards (no napkins either).

Dessert bar. Who doesn’t love dessert? Create a major dessert spread on the coffee table with chocolate sundae bits, cookies, ice cream, fresh berries, and whipped cream. It will take him back to a child like happy place. But while you enjoy your sundaes, don’t forget to leave some room for the dessert where calories don’t count!

Try something new. An eater who’s been stuck in a meal rut can’t resist a surprise dinner with unusual and exotic tastes. This will help you both explore your palate and taste buds!

So we have an idea on what to make them, but what’s with their preference of having us prepare the meal? Here are a few possible reasons.

Men love women who cook

Men are always hunting for women. It’s their primal instinct.  At the end of the day if a guy had to choose between a woman who can cook and another who cannot, chances are he’ll pick the one who can cook.

According to writer and blogger Stuart McDonald**, he says there are many reasons why men choose the cook over the non-cook. He says that if a woman says she doesn’t cook that means she can’t.  Even with the modern woman crunching on time, making a full course meal on a regular basis seems like a luxury. So why do men still  love women who can cook?

  1. Men love to eat ( that will never change)
  2. Men think with their stomachs ( A hungry man is a irritable and unfocused man)
  3. Lastly, a woman who can cook reminds them of their mother. ( It always come home)

But, at the core of it all men love women who can cook because it potentially means their family or future family will be taken care of.

From the very beginning men were created to protect and provide for their families. However, before having family with a woman, he needs to make sure that she can take care of the family by providing basic necessities like food, water, and shelter. Passing this test shows love for men at an instinctual level and perpetuates that a woman’s role is in the kitchen. However, this is not necessarily true with today’s run of the mill man. But if the time came for him to choose, he would always pick a woman who can cook over one who cannot.

Male patriarchy?

We know that men love their women who can cook something up in the kitchen. However, it may be said that in some relationships men are still treating the women in their lives unfairly.

In the era of the baby boomer, men would come home hungry and would have a certain expectation to dinner being ready or almost ready. If she wasn’t home, he would wait till she got there. We rarely see this happen today.

According to a poll* in Esquire conducted last year, 14% more men cook now than they did in 1965. Personally I believe that this newfound food interest frenzied from restaurants, whole foods , and Food Network stars has created a culture. It seems that more and more men are inspired to pick up a knife and start cutting.

Now, my ladies, the game has changed.

Men are starting to help out in the kitchen. Men who cook spend 8% more time cooking now than their fathers did back then. Today, men describe themselves as “adventurous” cooks claiming that the use of their ingredients, recipes, and techniques has made them a better cook.

Masterchef explosion? Possibly.

Men are getting inspired by male TV chefs such as Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsay, and Nigel Slater. Forget special occasions like Christmas and Valentine’s Day because men are taking over the apron every other day of the week. There’s also this frenzy where men enjoying the shopping for new kitchen gadgets and appliances. Men are finally experimenting in the kitchen while making their wives open up the bottle of wine and fix the table.

Adding some spice in your next meal can also turn up the heat in your relationship. Next time you’re in the house together try creating and making your own memories starting in the kitchen. Not only will your man be pleasantly surprised and stuffed but chances are he’ll keep you forever!

* “Are Men The Future Of Cooking?” Elizabeth Gunnison Dunn. Esquire. accessed February 10, 2014 http ://www.esquire. com/blogs/food-for-men/men-cook-more-now-than-ever-15506451

** “The Reason Men Love Women Who Cook” Stuart Mc Donald accessed February 10, 2014 http ://www.stuartbmcdonald . com/reason-men-love-women-cook/#.Uvlw10JdVyi

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The Crime Everyone’s Dying To Commit!

Here at How To Put The Fun Back Into Dating, we don’t recommend for anyone to commit a crimes…but there is one mild criminal act that most people do commit at their own risk of indecent exposure, and that’s sex in public.

A lot of people would agree, sex is public is incredible and the risk of getting caught adds to the excitement. But there is a right way to do it, and a wrong way. If you and your partner are willing to take a walk on the wildside, here are few quick tips you should follow:

1. Make Sure You’re Alone: Be very aware of your surroundings. Make sure there’s nobody watching you and there are no children around. By not being careful is a quick way to getting caught.

2. Watch Your Noise Level: Sometimes, sex can be so great you’ll want to make a sound or two. But being too loud and careless about the level of noise you make, makes it easy for you to be noticed by others.

3. Clean Up After Yourselves: This is the golden rule. If you’re going to get busy someplace, the least you can do is be courteous to the people who may stumble upon your love nest after you’ve left. Don’t leave the area with less that you came with, it’s just gross if you don’t.

Now that you know the three simple steps in how to have safe public sex and you’re still thinking of taking that risk, you ask yourself, “where?” Here are a few places Fox News* and The Stir** had in mind and the risk level you could be taking from 1 to 5:

  • Night Club/Concert (3): Music is just one of those things that get you in the mood without even trying. If the thump of the beat or lyrics to the song get you, sneaking away to a bathroom or a secluded nook in the building is a good spot to get it on. This place is rated 3 as a hit or miss in risk, but with the loud music on your side you shouldn’t have to worry much.

  • Park Bench (4): Sitting on a bench at the park with your partner can be a romantic moment. But getting your groove on, on that bench is another story! Make sure the park is empty or very close to empty. This place is rated a 4 for  the fact of joggers, children, and police roaming the grounds.

  • The Backyard (1): If you have a backyard with or without a fence, this may be a good spot to start your public sex escapades. Having a fence, you’re at an advantage of no one seeing you, but if you don’t have a fence The Stir suggests pitching a tent. Since you’re not at a great risk of fully exposing yourself, this is rated a 1.

  • Parked Car (2): Having sex in a parked car can bring a bit of nostalgia back in your life. As long as you’re parked in a secluded area and have a big enough vehicle to satisfy each other, there’s nothing really stopping you. Just be wary of police looking out for fogged windows, and with that mild risk it’s rated a 2.

  • Elevator (5): Having some fun in an empty elevator is super tricky, but super hot! Each level you go up is another risk of the doors opening and you getting caught, not to mention the possibility of  the security camera. If you can get away with this, you deserve a medal, that’s why it’s rated a 5.

  • Public Transportation (5): Getting your kicks on public transportation is some of the hardest and most at risk places to have sex. This includes buses, and yes the infamous mile high club! With public trans, there are always cameras, there are always attendants, and there are always nosy people; not to mention the cramped spaces. Sex here can run the risk of you getting kicked off, and derailing your travel plans, so if you get away with it I applaud you! This is why it’s rated at a 5.

Having sex in a public setting is not for the shy or faint hearted. When you do decide to take your love life up that ladder, make sure it’s something that you really want to do. Don’t let your partner pressure you into it, and have fun!

*“FOXSexpert: The 20 Riskiest Places to Have Sex” Fox News. Com accessed 2/6/2014. http ://www.foxnews. com/story/2009/02/12/foxsexpert-20-riskiest-places-to-have-sex/** “25 Mind-Blowing Sex Spots You Never Thought to Try” Jamye Waxman, The Stir accessed 2/6/2014. htt p://thestir. cafemom. com/love_sex/121952/25_Mind_Blowing_Sex_Spots

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15 At Home Date Night Wonders!

You may be under the impression you need to leave the house to have a great date night, however there are a number of fun ways to enjoy your man and your time together at home!

Sometimes life gets busy, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect alone time with your man where you can keep the excitement alive within the relationship by indulging in frequent date nights.

Now is a better time than ever to get creative with your date ideas and bring date night to the comfort of your own home. Here are the top 15 date ideas as presented by the website Happy Housewives.

1. Iron Chef at home edition.
Cooking together can be a fun way to keep the connection alive between you and your man. The experts at Happy Housewives suggest putting a twist on it and make chocolate the main ingredient in all the meals!. Not only is chocolate supposed to have an aphrodisiac effect on people, it also is an incredibly tasty ingredient to include in your cooking. Happy Housewives proposes “you either make a meal together or divide up the courses between each of you and surprise the other with your sweet & savory creations.”

2. Trivia night with a naked twist.
Indulge yourself and your honey in a little game of strip trivia. Ask each other questions that will require you to dispose of an item of clothing with every wrong answer. Stripping adds an element of excitement to the game and could be a precursor to what’s to come later on in the night. Perhaps you won’t even be able to get through the game as you tease your partner, he may just jump your bones sooner!

3. Have a theme night.
Come up with a theme for the night and centre everything you do around it. For instance, you could have a Mexican night, make guacamole and chips followed by tacos and dancing to traditional music. It doesn’t matter what you pick, but playing along will create a bit of fun for both of you. You could even incorporate dressing up as a way to spice things up in the bedroom for dessert!

4.Parisian nights at home.
Emulate the French with a night in making crepes with your sweetie and drawing caricatures of each other. Not only will you get to indulge in delicious crepes when you’re done but it’s also a fun and creative way of enjoying each others company indoors!

5. Dress up and stay in.
Who says you need an occasion to dress up? Put on one of your nicest outfits and have him don a suit as you light candles and have a nice dinner party for two at home. Once the right ambiance is created it, you and your partner will get lost in the romance of a fancy night in.

6. Role play movie characters.
Dress up as a character out of your favorite movie and stay true to the part all night. It will be a fun and creative way to play dress up and potentially segway into a little roleplay in the bedroom after!

7. Take a dream date survey.
Create a survey that both of you can take to come up with what your idea of a dream date would be.  Hand over the surveys to each other when you’re done and see how much of both you can recreate in the comfort of your own home. Time to get creative!

8. Create a love nest in your bedroom.
Buy a canopy to hang over your bead, light up some candles, throw some rose petals on the bed, and play some romantic music. It will feel like a romantic getaway in a hotel, as opposed to a set up in your room. Vacation sex can be very fun so why not pretend for the night that you’re away somewhere exotic. Bring out each other’s wild side!

9. Karaoke night.
Youtube some classics and belt out some tunes to one another! Perhaps your voice isn’t the greatest? Fortunately, this isn’t a competition for who’s the best singer but rather a fun way for you and your partner to get playful and serenade each other.

10. Plan a vacation.
Spend the night browsing through travel brochures and websites and plan your next vacation! Even if you won’t be able to get a way in the foreseeable future, it’s still encouraging to plan an exciting vacation to look forward to!

11. Video tape the story of how you met.
One day you may have kids or maybe it will be years down the road and you will love to remember how it is that you first met and fell in love. Sit down with your partner and record yourselves as you remember the story of how you met and fell in love from both of your perspectives.

12. Create an at-home wine bar.
Pick up a couple of bottles of wine, and some snacks for a charcuterie board as you lay it all out and play your favorite tunes. It will feel like a night out but instead of worrying about how your getting home, you already will be there!

13. Have a spa date.
What better way to spend a night in then set up an at-home massage parlor and treat each other to some luxury. Take turns rubbing one another down with essential oils as you play some spa music in the background to really set the mood.  Finish the night off by jumping into the tub together and keep the romance going.

14.  Play the Newlyweds game.
Search online for questions you can ask one another as you see how well you truly know each other! It’s a fun way to rediscover one another and remind each other of what traits you fell in love with in the first place.

15. Have a movie marathon.
Create the illusion of a theatre in your own home by getting lots of popcorn and playing a number of your favorite movies back to back. Better yet if its summertime, invest in a projector and set it up in your backyard. There is something incredibly fun and romantic about watching movies under the stars.

Having a date night at home means that you can have just as much fun without worrying about spending too much time or money. There are plenty of opportunities to enjoy each others’ company even if you can’t find the time to get outdoors. Most importantly appreciate your partner and the time you get to spend together, and you’re bound to have a great time no matter where you are.

“Top 20 Stay-At-Home Date Night Ideas” Fawn Weaver. Happy Wives Club.com. accessed February 2, 2014.  http ://www.happywivesclub. com/top-20-stay-at-home-date-night-ideas/

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About How To Put The Fun Back Into Dating (HTPTFBID)

How To Put the Fun Back Into Dating is an invigorating and enlightening space created for the Goddess within you. We have all struggled to keep up with the ever changing dating norms and expectations. Thus, quite often we find ourselves looking at dating as a daunting and downright frightening task.

That’s where we come in, to transform the way you view dating and inevitably transform your life. We will guide you through all of your questions and doubts, whilst providing you with information that will empower you and give you back that sparkle to attract and keep the man of your dreams.

It is never too late to reclaim your life, and alter your love life to give you the exciting, fun, passionate love life you deserve.

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