You finally found a guy online and you think you have a real connection. Things are sizzling, and you don’t want the good vibes you’re feeling to stop. But suddenly, a message pops in your inbox from a “hottie” who wants to know more about you. You hesitate and wonder what the ethics are in this situation.
Should you write back or let it go?
Are you missing the opportunity to hook up with someone amazing if you press delete?
You are not alone. Many women experience this crisis of conscience when navigating the ever-confusing world of online dating. But let me give you a gold nugget of advice before you clear that inbox.
You should write back. It’s better than ok to respond. It’s necessary!
Here’s why. The online dating game can be tough and a bit of a numbers game. Yes there are gems (I have met all my beaus online) but it requires some patience and diligence. So, if you are dating a guy you found online and the two of you are really hitting it off, that’s great. But you are cutting yourself off at the knees if you drop out of the game just because things are going well right now.
What if something happens and it doesn’t lead to what you desire? We know that unfortunately that dating is often a bit of a numbers game at first. You only have yourself to fall back on and you are back at ground zero. As a smart, savvy, dating goddess you need to keep your options open. So make a plan of action to cast that net of yours as wide as you can. You’ll be glad you did.
How to Play the Game:
When a new hot guy (let’s call him Bachelor #2) finds you, look at it as an opportunity to A) find out more about him and B) if your current guy is the right one to spend your time on.
Think about it: you attracted a man – without having to do any of the work. He’s done it for you (bonus!). Spend some time getting to know him – without cluing in Bachelor #1 (presuming you are not in a committed/monogamous relationship please), but retain the mystery and only offer up details about your life as he asks for them. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than seeming too eager.
You’ve heard me say: Men Chase – Women Decide.
While you’re doing your juggling act with your beaus, make sure to keep names straight and do a quick read-through of all your messages before you send them. If you have a few fellows on your dance card and you call one by anothers name, you’ll be busted in no time flat. Men like to compete but never to look foolish!
Meet up with each of your prospects in locations far removed from one another. You don’t want to have dinner with a new guy in the same neighborhood as your lunch date with a different guy from yesterday. Too risky.
Another Tip: never double-book. If you make plans with two different men in one night and the early shift runs over, you will have major problems explaining why you showed up late for your second. That’s not cool and not good manners.
Stick to Your Rules
The main goal here is to keep everyone separate. Use a planner or the calendar on your smartphone and record all your dates and bachelor information (I keep threatening to write an ‘app’ for this). Keep yourself somewhat at arm’s length and never give out too much information about your specific plans to any of your new prospects. This will keep them enjoying your company and allow you enough personal space to enjoy having fun in dating as well as not rushing into a relationship.
You’re a smart, savvy woman. Present yourself that way; throw in a bit of mystery, and voila! You’ll have them lining up to want to know you. Take your online dating life as seriously as you take your business and you will have your dance card booked solid in no time.