Dating Dos and Don’ts: What To Do To Get a Date

Written by Fiona Fine {contributed by Cindy Van Arnam} on . Posted in Dating Advice, Dating Advice for Women, Dating Advice Online, Dating Dos and Don'ts, Online Dating Advice, What to do in Dating, Womens Dating Advice

There are two important things to remember when you’re jumping into the dating world.  First, be open and realize that first impressions are everything.  Second, stay true to yourself.  If you are out there dating you probably have an online profile and it’s important to remember that your profile is the first impression that a man will have of you.   Make sure it’s a good profile.  Treat it as if it’s a resume for your dating life.

Always, always, always remain the beautiful Goddess that you are.  It’s crucial that you stay true to yourself and don’t compromise yourself.  Maintain your independence and keep up with your interests.  By sacrificing any of these you’ll only be hurting yourself.

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Add more photos or video. In the age of digital photography, there is simply no excuse for not having multiple images of yourself engaged in your favorite hobby, traveling or out on the town. Need more incentive? Research shows profiles with pictures get eight times the response of those without.

Treat Your Online Profile Like a Resume. When you apply for a job, you highlight your achievements, competencies, and strengths while spelling out why you are the ideal candidate for the post. Do the same with your online profile, showing potential dates all you have to offer and why they choose someone else at their peril.

Set an Intention for Your Search: In yoga, practitioners are encouraged to visualize a positive intention for each class. Do the same with your online searches. For example, on Thursdays, vow to only browse profiles of people who are smiling.  Make Fridays the day you reach out to someone who’s not your normal type but seems interesting. Make Mondays your 100-mile radius days and so on.

Be specific. Generalizations such as ‘I like to have fun’ or ‘I love hanging out with my friends’ don’t tell the story of you because everyone likes hanging out with friends and notions of fun are subjective. Be granular. Describe your ideal Sunday morning or best-ever vacation, guilty-pleasure reality TV show or secret nerd crush.

Use a trusted friend as an editor. It’s hard to write about yourself but a pal can make constructive suggestions about where to add detail (your humor/compassion/killer stroganoff recipe) and where to back off (carping about exes, presenting a rigid grocery-list of must-haves).

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Lose the grocery list. We all have core needs and values that must be met before we can look at a partner as a long-term prospect. But until that stuff is nailed down, open up your criteria. You may prefer dating guys over 6 feet tall, but Mr. Five Foot Nine might have the best sense of humor ever. The more flexible you are, the wider your dating circle will be. Plus not every date has to lead to marriage. Loosen up and view dates as fun nights out, not BIG EVENTS.

Get a Hobby: The adage, ‘If you cultivate an interest, people will find you interesting’ really is true. Get yourself involved in something that will get you out the door and engaged while broadening your social circle. Take a cooking class, sign up for language lessons, learn to skate or join a book club. Hobbies also provide handy conversational fodder for first dates.

Don’t Avoid Couples-centric Events. Nobody likes to feel like a fifth wheel but no one can diminish you without your consent. Couples have friends, acquaintances and co-workers, some of whom are bound to be single. So get out there and circulate. Accept every invitation that you possibly can — from backyard BBQs to community clean-up days.

Volunteer. It doesn’t matter what you do (dog walking at the local shelter, serving soup at the homeless kitchen). Volunteering will put you in the path of like-minded people with good hearts and a strong sense of community. What’s hotter than that?

Keep it in perspective. Yes, dating can be a grind but so can laundry and we still do that every week. Take good dates and bad dates in stride, try to remain upbeat, extract humor from any source and remember: the moment we’re not searching for love is usually the moment we find it.

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How do you remain true to yourself when dating?  Share your thoughts with us by commenting below.

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Fiona Fine {contributed by Cindy Van Arnam}

I want to grow a movement that’s main focus is to put the fun back into dating. I want to put the passion - the connection - and the fun back into all facets of life so that women can create the love live of their dreams. So if you’re ready to leave your old self behind and tap into your inner Goddess, all you have to do is make that decision. It’s your life and your choice. I’m here to guide you along the way. -- Fiona Fine {contributed by Cindy Van Arnam}

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About Me

Fiona Fine As a self-glorified Goddess in my early 50s, I’m happier and more satisfied than I’ve ever been. And my flourishing love life is lavishly abundant with wonderful, exciting men lining up to date me. But it wasn’t always like this. After coming out of a long, unfulfilling and unsatisfying relationship I realized I had given up my sense of self in the course of those 10 corruptive years. I wanted to put the pleasure back into my existence and to start living life purely on my own terms. Since that momentous decision I have revived my health, traveled the world and have reclaimed that sultry siren I was in my twenties. In the past few years my dating life has been nothing less than spectacular. I want to start a movement that’s main focus is to put the fun back into dating. So if you’re ready to leave your old self behind and tap into your inner Goddess, all you have to do is make that decision. It’s your life and your choice. I’m here to guide you along the way.