Am I Good Enough?

Maybe it happened when he said he loved you—or when he said he didn’t.  Maybe it was when you got that promotion, or when that gorgeous, put-together woman walked into the room.  That little seed of doubt crept in: Am I good enough?

You felt that insecurity, the doubt of wondering whether or not you’re worthy.

Let me tell you something—when that gorgeous, put-together woman walked into the room, she felt it too.  We all do.

It’s completely natural to doubt your self-worth—especially when you’ve heard the message that you’re not good enough in every commercial. Maybe you’ve heard it in a relationship, too, or from those mean girls in high school. Maybe you’ve had a hard time attracting a man, and it’s bringing up all those questions you’d rather not ask.

Whether it’s your body, your career, or your love life, you’ve felt it.  So the question is: what now?

What do you do when you hear that nagging voice? Do you allow yourself to wallow in self-pity and insecurity, or do you step into your power and conquer it?

It’s important to be aware of what you’re feeling, and to be kind to yourself if you are feeling insecure.  But trust me on this—spending too much time living inside your self-doubt isn’t going to do you any favors.

Now, this might be hard to hear at first. You might not believe it.  But I want you to know:

You are good enough.

Without even knowing you I can tell you that you’re good enough.  Every single woman who walks this planet is a gorgeous goddess. With a little bit of self-confidence and joie de vivre, you can conquer the world.

So how do you get started?

Here’s how: Fake it till you make it. No one feels 100% confident 100% of the time. Not Charlize Theron, not Halle Berry, not Heidi Klum. If you’re shrinking inside, that’s nobody’s business but yours—so stand tall and smile. Tell a joke.  Pretend like you really do think you’re amazing.

At first it’ll be like learning to walk in heels.  You’ll feel a little wobbly.  But something new will happen: people will believe you!  They will respond to the message you communicate about yourself, whether you’re saying it with words or with body language. And when they start responding to you with admiration and respect, you might be surprised at how quickly you start to believe it yourself.

This doesn’t happen overnight, of course—it’ll take some work, and I promise you, there will be days when you’re just not feeling it.  When that happens, it’s important to keep reminding yourself that you really are good enough—in fact, you’re more than good enough.
Work on believing this. People really do respond the way you present yourself—they’ll respond positively to self-confidence, but there’s also another side to this coin: if you don’t believe you’re good enough, it will show. If the message you send to the world around you is one of self-hatred, that too will take root and begin to fester in the way others respond to you.

Learn to believe you’re amazing, and your life, your relationships, and your sex life will begin to soar.  Doors you never knew existed will start to open.  This is crucial.  It’s worth the work.

If you’re working hard at believing in your own worth, but you still find yourself struggling, it might be time to consider a coach.  Counseling focuses on your weaknesses, but a relationship and dating coach specializes in helping you move past those weaknesses and break through the fear and doubt.  Coaching is about working on your strengths and unlocking the best of what’s been hidden away inside you.

It’s also about practice, practice, practice—practicing confidence and dating techniques until you’re a savvy, seasoned pro.  As you learn and grow, those old insecurities will fall aside to make room for the new you, and you’ll find yourself dating like the gorgeous goddess you are.